Saying Goodbye

One of the customs that my wife and I have begun is the strenuous task of watching TV shows. I didn't really watch much TV when I was growing up because my siblings were too busy bothering me all of the time. But Claire and I spend time together relaxing and watching TV shows and talking about them.

Most of the TV shows we watch are on DVD so I can watch them whenever I want (The West Wing, Friends, etc.). But we've been watching Downton Abbey and we've caught up so that I now have to wait before I know what happens.

I have been engrossed by the plot lines of this particular show, and the episode we watched this past Sunday particularly drew my attention. I'm going to try not to post any spoilers, but be aware that I'm pretty bad about spoiling TV shows. In the episode one of the characters falls sick and dies. After the person dies one of the main characters is shown saying goodbye. She takes a special moment to kiss the deceased person on the forehead and say "goodbye".

As I watched this scene I was reminded of the times in my own life when I have said goodbye to a loved one, whether it was a permanent goodbye or a temporary one.

I have been blessed to have had a chance to, in one way or another, say goodbye to three of my four grandparents. All of the moments in my life when I had the chance to say goodbyes to the ones I loved were painful at the time, but they are moments that I now treasure. Having the chance to look into the face of someone for whom we truly care and say a meaningful goodbye, even if they cannot return the gaze, is something that far too few people have. I believe that saying goodbye is an important part of our relationships with one another.

There was a patient who came into the emergency room while I was working in Richmond. This man had fallen from a high place and was not identified. As he was being cared for in the emergency room his condition worsened and he passed away. As I was standing there watching a man I did not know depart this life I noticed that he had a wedding ring on his finger. Because we were not able to identify this man we had no way to contact any loved ones. I remember offering up a prayer at that moment for this man's loved ones who did not have the chance to say goodbye.

The last goodbyes are not the only ones we say. We use this word so often in our lives that it becomes one that is mundane. Every time we part company, we find ourselves saying goodbye. I think that this is a great thing because this word can feel so casual, yet it can also be very meaningful. I have to think that these is a reason that the word "good" is part of our process of departing. It is a wish that the person we are leaving will be kept well and cared for, but I think it is also a little hint of the value we give one another. When I say goodbye, I can't help but think that the time we have had together has been good, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. There is something "good" about "goodbye" - it says that we have had a chance to share our moments with someone who has helped us make them precious.